Please pay attention to attached instructions carefully.

Based on the answers you provided for part 1, this was the feedback for the essay. Can you please revise the paper to fix the discrepancies? 

1. Model Short Answer:  H.R. 1234, “Require Marshmallows in All Hot Chocolate,” should be passed into law, because the creamy fluff of half-melted marshmallows makes hot chocolate measurably better.      

Comment: The topic and your stance are clear. Do figure out how to edit out the first person voice (“I”) since the assignment asks you to only use third person. 

2. Model Short Answer:  An example of an MLA in-text citation and work cited entry for a journal article from an online database:  “Quotation goes here” (Smith 23).  Smith, Bob. “Article Investigating Stuff in Ancient Uruguay.” Journal of Stuff, vol. 34, no. 2, 15 June 2000, pp. 35-48. Database Title, doi: ###.##/xx.##      

Comment: Your in-text citations are basically correct, but note that the page number parenthetical citation should go after the paraphrased information.

3. Comment: The parts of the argument that you have here look good. You’re missing one big piece for a Rogerian argument, though: the common ground. What is the ideal/concern that both sides see as important, and that you could use to bring them together?